I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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