just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize