I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize