the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
