And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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