carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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