All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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