somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
