I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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