Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Everclear isn't food dammit
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
