While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
