I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
