he told me I talked like a deaf person
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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