Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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