are you so shy because you have an std?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
