Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
