yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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