You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
