I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize