they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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