he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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