Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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