You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
