I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
