would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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