Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize