Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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