I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
