I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
