Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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