also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My feet surprised me
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