I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
