a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
