Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
