Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
