you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize