brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
