You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
