I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
