Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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