its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize