there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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