Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
