so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
