im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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