i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hippo gnu deer
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
