two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
