I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
