True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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