thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
