Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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