I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
