you guys were way drunker than both of me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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