we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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