Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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