you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
