plz talk dirty to me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
