they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
