Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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