I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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