Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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