girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
