Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
