I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
